April 22, 2011
I give mad props
To this semi-fictional plot.
I rarely see self-insert fiction
Played with real finesse.
Van Damme: a badass motherfucker;
Don't believe me?
Read up his Wikipedia, and see.
This guy has some hardcore balls.
This is a guy who had fame;
I recall a Friends episode about this.
This is a guy who spent nights in drains;
Recovery and triumph, I wholly refuse to dis.
I worship his graceful skill
Of kicking a dude in the teeth.
If I could be Graceful Kungfu Bill?
I'd be rolling in extra raw beef.
JCVD marks a special moment
In my worship of this action star;
We see no asses, no splits --
These dramatic scenes, he fucking pwns it.
I liked this particular movie;
I liked seeing Van Damme as a person.
A person buttfucked by his movies.
It's one thing to appreciate cheese, and another to deliver.
This form of fiction rarely succeeds;
An example being Drew Carrey's tales.
Stephen King's self-insert breeds
A feeling of desperate need.
The only scene that lost my grasp
Was one wherein Van Damme floats
In a chair, to the ceiling.
The soliloquy during this, though...
The ending is my favorite, of this
Translation of Van Damme's fictional tiff;
He envisions kicking the bad guy,
Saving the day; which absolutely flops.
Our dejected, kin-rejected hero
Finds some calm in teaching inmates
Some useful self-defence moves.
It's bleak, yet we find some hope.
JCVD is a gem;
I recommend this to any b-movie
Action-flick Ben or Joe.
This is a seriously superb little show.
