April 22, 2011
Michelle gives me hope
For b-movie reviewers.
Potentially, Van Damme may google-poke,
And get a kick outta this viewer's reviewing.
I rented Knock Off, all of once.
I spotted Van Damme's mug on a VHS.
I would have relied on my own copy,
But alas, my hard drive had no computer.
This viewing, if records show,
Potentially happened 6 months or more ago.
I remember Knock Off lacking plot;
Being mostly action's lot.
Was there a random romance subplot?
I vaguely recall a revenge angle, a buddy shot.
With so many scenes of destroyed cargo,
I trust this main character nil with merch embargoes.
This Van Damme character was very Han Solo,
Ditching his piss-poor illegal cargo.
The police, they come:
He wrecks their day, son.
If I was this JCVD-role's boss,
I'd be pissed off from all the hardcore loss.
I would refuse to let this guy smuggle
My profitable knock off shit, hoss.
I recall the bad guys being absolutely no match
For Van Damme's gunblazing wrath.
I vaguely remember one dude:
Trenchcoat, bespeckled, crappy-aim; nerdy-looking biotch.
I'm pretty sure it's because the average joe friend died.
This revenge plot stuff being a usual motivator.
I think our con man protagonist was trying to save his chum;
These revenge plots have simple scenarios they run.
In this, was Jean-Claude an anti-hero?
A cocky, but likable bad guy?
In this one, I forget whose side
Van Damme's allegiances lie.
Overall, Knock Off
Was almost entirely forgettable.
It's not heinous, nor regrettable;
It's just good for a wee laugh.
