April 22, 2011
In my journey
Through creating these Van Damme odes,
Losing one, and failing another
Badly bodes.
I'm missing Kickboxer;
That one was painfully long.
Which means that Knock Off
Is incomplete AND gone.
Allow me to apologize,
And tell you of a different prize:
A short impression of Cyborg,
As remembered months later. Argh.
There once was an interesting concept:
Apocalypse, and a savior cyborg.
Bad writing, editing, acting, and costumes intercept.
That android was highly deformed.
Picture this, Van Damme lovers:
Awesome apocalyptic backdrop scenes,
As butchered by wannabe 80s guitar covers.
Were the rockstar bad guys meant to draw teens?
The weirdest thing about Cyborg isn't
The cyborg's hella bad makeup.
It was the rockstar bad guy's linguistic tint.
I daren't kid, nor make up.
This plot had potential,
But the execution wholly lacked.
If not for being blitzed in my residential,
This is one I'd not have tracked.
All being said, me being high or no,
No high could keep me in this show.
Cyborg, even as a cheesy b-movie,
Is completely unwatchable, yo.
Cyborg makes me sad;
Poor Van Damme.. his lines are extra-bad.
I would honestly rather rewatch Double Impact
Than reattempt to complete viewing this sorry crap.
