8/12/11
Jacques sneaks to the engine,
Helped by the hidden conductor.
Everybody in this movie has walky-talkies.
Wouldn't it be funny if they had the same frequence?
Everyone's getting infected; this spreads quick.
How will the bad guys keep order, if they're all sick?
Jacques takes out a wandering minion.
Did the minions all take cues from horror movie rules?
He dicks with the engine, but after
Long moments, all he did was slow the train.
Something was leaking, so the engine caught flame.
The minion's boyfriend (a fellow minion) comes to blame.
This guy puts up more of a fight than anyone else;
If not for the armlock,
I think he'd have been the main fight.
Jacques calls NATO for backup.
If Jacques could call for help,
At any time.. why wait so long?
Why does it take all movie
For them to catch up with the train?
Hey! A tunnel!
Cole's escape helicopter
Becomes shrapnel.
Maybe I should add that to the cliché list?
“You make sure that Kristoff is dead, this time.”
Barside Cowboy stirs some shit;
Madeline is a doctor; the limey gets him to sit.
At this point, the bad guys just kind of do dick all.
Jacques hides in a vehicle;
This train has spots for cars.
It turns out to be a shitty hiding spot.
We find our hero back atop the train.
Would this be considered jumping the shark?
Van Damme rides off the top of the train,
And in to the countryside, on a motorbike.
I agree with the minion who thought he'd be dead.
At this point, I'm convinced that
Jacques Kristoff is either invincible, or on PCP.
He's outlasted having bones broken,
Being shot, and being thrown out a train.
The limey and Madeline have some
Resistance to the supervirus.
The theory is smallpox vaccines.
If that's so, why aren't all the 40+ people fine?
The daughter convulses,
They pour ice on her.
This virus hits hard, fast.
Half the extras have pustules forming.
Jacques must also be a master
Of directions; I saw him ride AWAY from
The train, only to randomly
Catch right back up.
