May 19, 2011
2002: Van Damme
Stars in Derailed.
Begin: a car fails
Inside a military base.
Cheesy intro;
He sneaks in to a building,
Meeting a woman
Who cues porn theme.
Our hero sneaks in to Vienna --
Van Damme emerges.
In to a café,
Wherein Baldy divulges.
$50,000 USD.
Super-spy JCVD tells his wife
They'll soon rebegin
Their housing, and life.
Asian son kicks one;
The kids are teens.
Are all of Europe's
Streets cobbled?
Lady Spy, Guy Spy Jack
Run off from a Slovak attack.
This plot putters on track.
Acrobatics ensue to the military dudes.
Aww, man; this plot smells cheesy.
Random romance-subplot chemistry;
The wife, she no please?
A divorce, I foresee.
A chase! A taxi!
Sparkles a-twitter.
Random staircase slo-mo:
A-crashin' everyone a-go-go.
An upturned gas truck,
A gas station..
A power wire..
SHIT GOES KA-BOOM.
Trainstation, 16 minutes in.
"This calls for some finesse;
Something you don't understand."
A sneak-off planned?
Costume change;
The sneak uncovered.
They got eyeballed
By a [Hcleet]* guard.
A seat-change,
A swank bar.
Cowboy asshole.
"The limey's got a good sense of humor."
* Bill's notes suck. Acleet? Hcleet? Pcleet? What IS that word?